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That's what should be written on all the Kuschelrock LPs, ice cream packages for two and Jennifer Aniston movie posters.
Whether you fall in love or not can really affect the next decades of your life, maybe even the rest of it, When it ends you might think you were so careful not to not say or do certain things that could give your date the wrong impression of you. But believe me, you can't be careful enough. This piece should assist you in not making the worst mistakes there are in the world of dating (assuming, of course, that finding your better half is your ultimate goal).
You go on a date and your date chooses the restaurant, and then it’s your turn to choose, and maybe it goes that way for some time. Let some time pass and you're gonna watch some movies together or have dinner at home and listen to the music you like most or the music your new partner likes most. Already (assuming nothing physical has happened yet), you’ve made plenty of mistakes and your date has surely made them too. You’ve already altered your future irreversibly. Some things are your fault, some of them are not, some of them aren't anybody's. Let's just look at the first few weeks a little closer.
First, the dinner phase. You went out to dinner three or four times, maybe more, maybe less. "What's the point in that?," you may ask yourself. Here’s the point… Let us assume you went out to a restaurant your date chose and you really liked it. (Let's call your date Alex). The food, the atmosphere, the waiters or the music—it’s not really important what it was in detail—but you liked it, so much that you may be going back there with the partner-to-be or even with your friends. And what if they like the place too? After you break up, stop dating, whatever, you can't go back to this fantastic place without thinking about that guy/girl for a long, long time. You will connect this great place with all that happened those evenings: with the conversation and the jokes, with the food and the waiter’s big mishap. And that was only the first step.
The next step is the home phase. You are gonna watch some movies you really love or Alex really loves and you are going to listen to your favorite music. I promise you, you will not like to listen to this music again for a while! You will remember what you did with him/her while you listened to this song or that album, and it will either hurt you or anger you. It's the same with the music Alex played when you where at his/her home. You walk through the streets and all of a sudden you hear this song, you start to feel something.... is it sickness? anger? You can't quite define it, but then the memories will come up. That's the song we listened to when we where eating Caesar salad at his kitchen counter! Goodbye good mood.
It's going to be the same with the movies you watched and the car he drove and the perfume she wore. Maybe it will all disappear someday but don't be so sure about that. So let me tell you something: BE CAREFUL! Don't eat in your favorite restaurant (too early), don't play your favorite songs (too early), don't buy her your favorite perfume (too early), don't wear your favorite dress for him (too early).
You surely must be wondering when it’s “too early.” You can't reserve all your favorite things forever because you might break up one day and of course you wanna share. Everybody wants to share. Why else do we have favorites? Why else are we watching movies, listening to new CD s, trying new restaurants or clubs if not to share them with others. Just be careful and calculate exactly what you can share (and when) and what should stay in the closet for a while (maybe even proverbial!). Even though Alex might not notice (though he/she should), it will be an act in the name of faith when you show them which movie you like most or take her out to your most fancied restaurant. Even if it may appear selfish to you, you are protecting the both of you.
And let me tell you another thing: you can't avoid this sick feeling or this certain anger when you break up after some time, but you can save some things from Alex's touch.
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